Loving myself has changed my life. I noticed that a lot of times during my day to day life I wasn't truly loving myself. If asked I would generally say I had self-confidence, I loved myself, and I was generally secure in my self and my own self-efficacy. After closer examination I soon realized I was not loving myself 100%. So I decided to write a blog post on 5 ways you are either loving yourself 100% or you aren't keeping it 100 with yourself, and you may need to re-look at your self-love.
- Positive Self-talk/Avoiding Negative Self-Talk: Many of us, including myself, speak negatively and caustically to ourselves. There's a little voice within and it's nothing but negative. It's always self-doubting and self-destructive. "You aren't good enough. He won't like you. You won't do well. How could you do that? Why'd you say it like that? They're not going to trust you." Now if you are loving yourself, your self-talk will be more positive. You will become gentle with yourself and you won't verbally abuse yourself. Life is already hard enough. If you ever notice yourself doing this, you can replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk. "I am good enough. They will like me. It will work." etc.
- Self-validation: I can't tell you how important this is. You have a unique journey that you've been uniquely prepared for. There is a saying that if you are dependent on someone's approval for your happiness then their disapproval will be your misery. One becomes a slave when always dependent on other peoples' opinions or approval. It's great to seek out the opinions of the wise and those who we care about, but sometimes, no one understands your path but you and God. Your truth can stand alone. The sun shines regardless if people complain, don't understand the benefits of its rays, or the purpose for the nuclear fusion that takes place in its core, it just shines. It's the same for you. When you love yourself you don't depend on other peoples' approval or validation for your dream or life decisions. You came here alone and you will leave alone. Plus only you will deal with the karma of your actions so go within and validate your own dreams. Don't expect anyone to validate your dreams. They are not their dreams to validate.
- Self-acceptance: You are tall. You are short. You are underweight. You may be overweight. You have skin problems. Your teeth are crooked. You have cellulite. Your eye is a little lazy. Your nose is a bit pointy. The truth is, no one really cares about these things, you know why? Because people are too busy thinking about their own insecurities and perceived flaws to think about you. Most people can perceive confidence and it isn't just based off of physical appearances.
- There's a secret. Once you begin accepting yourself 100% you see the beauty in yourself and you start to shine because you don't shy away and hide. This self-assurance reflects in how you speak, how you carry yourself, and your body language. Your self-acceptance becomes a unique beauty signature that no one else will have. That birthmark is cute. You are cute. You are handsome. You're fine. You're perfect. If you don't accept it though, no one will.
- Self-investment: People who love themselves invest in themselves. They aren't concerned with what people think about their self-investment and they do not feel guilty about it. Investing in yourself doesn't mean splurging on yourself or feeding yourself before you feed your children. That's just selfishness. It's about showing yourself love and care. There is a difference between investing in yourself and blowing money on yourself and you can easily tell the difference between investments and money blown. With investments you get returns. You spend time exercising, you increase strength and stamina. You do yoga or meditation, you improve flexibility and equanimity. These are investments. Splurging on crap you don't need is not self-investment, it is waste.
- Self-forgiveness: In the past you may have made some mistakes. There were obstacles you didn't overcome and you may have fell over. Self-loving people do not hold these seeming failures over their heads. What self-loving people do is forgive themselves, learn from their mistakes and keep it pushing. It makes for better and more success.
If you made it this far, I am glad and I hope it assisted you in showing you how to love yourself a bit more.
Until next time.
Bey
